The Grieving Process

One of the most painful events in life is to lose a child. It is a really painful process and parents and loved ones are always reminded of it all through their lives.

The process of grieving after losing a child is a slow and steady one, it is best not rushed. There is a tendency for the mental health of a parent to get worse if they do not handle the event of their child properly.

In all aspects of humanity, there is a tendency for grief to be set in. This informs us that is a natural life process that we would all encounter at some points in our lives.

It is a natural process to dwell on the loss of a child for a while. However, when it becomes too long, running into years, it implies that the grieving process is not normal.

One of the possible effects of losing a child is mental health loss. The parents are bound to experience depression and this can be in varying phases.

If they do not receive prompt care then their mental health problem could get worse. This depression has the capacity to affect them in various phases of their lives.

They would no longer act their normal selves and it would be easily noticeable to people around them. In addition to this, there is likely to be a decline in their productivity. For parents, they would not perform optimally at work if care is not taken.

Another possible effect of losing a child is overprotectiveness. Due to the fact that they have lost a child, they would not want a repeat incidence. So, there is a likely chance that they would be overprotective and this can cause friction between parents and their children.

Parents are allowed to grieve if the experience child loss and this is natural. They are also advised to seek help during this period, so that they would heal naturally.

One of the most natural response to loss is grief. This is the emotion you feel when you would not be seeing someone you love again.

A good number of times, this feeling of loss is great, and it may be hard to handle them. It is possible for you to go through various emotions like guilt, anger, disbelief and a host of others.

Someone who experiences grief might not be able to sleep properly or even eat, think and process thoughts straight. These experiences are normally obtainable and when they are more significant, the grief experienced becomes more intense.

One of the biggest challenges in life is losing something you love. One of the most severe type of grief is the death of a loved one, and it is very difficult to handle.

Below are other circumstances that induces grief:

• Divorce
• Poor state of health
• Job loss
• Miscarriage
• Friendship loss

There are also some minor losses that can make you grieve without you being aware. Some people might grief when they leave home, finish school, and look for jobs and the likes.

Irrespective of your loss, it is important to note that they are personal to you, so you should not be ashamed of them.

It would interest you to know that there are some ways to grieve. These ways have been used over the years and they have been found to be effective.

One of such ways is pain acknowledgment. You need to come to terms with the fact that the loss is a reality, and you need to move on with life. You also need to be aware that, the process of grieving can induce a good number of emotions, unpleasant and unexpected.

You should also know that the grieving process is peculiar. This implies that, no two persons can grieve the same way. It is also essential to seek support from appropriate quarters.

Seeing a counselor or mental health therapist is one of the best steps you can take to achieve this.  

Life looks and feels different after something grievous has happened. It is common to hope that life will go back to feeling the same after something grievous has happened, such as the death of a child, which is not something one should hope for. The truth is, life will never be the same again. This does not mean that it won’t be beautiful and joyous in new ways, but it is important to understand that you have a new identity. You can hold the memory of what you are grieving in your new identity, but you can’t expect your new identity to feel the same as the old one.

There will be moments when you relive the pain in its entirety. Every grieving person can attest to this. There will be repeated moments of thinking you have moved on entirely, thinking you are done experiencing the grief, and then a wave of grief will roll over you without warning. This becomes exhausting to the body and mind, but this is a natural part of the grieving process.

However, this does not mean that you won’t have joyful moments that contrast with the grief. There will be many moments when the clouds roll away and the sun shows through and you will remember how to have a full heart. As you work your way through your grief, these moments will become more and more common. For a time, these moments will have to fluctuate with moments of continued grief, and eventually, they will even out into more steady emotions.

Many people describe this process by comparing it to learning how to function after an amputation, or learning to dance with a limp. The loss you experienced does not cease to be a loss. Instead, you make peace with the presence of the loss in your life. This is essentially learning to accept something over a long period of time, typically months or even years.

Grieving the loss of a child is one of the most painful things a parent can go through and it is not something that can be rushed. However, it is imperative to the grieving parent’s mental health that they do move on eventually, lest they become stuck in a state of grieving indefinitely. The thought of moving on from the loss of a child sounds relieving to some and awful to others. For some, the need to move on and continue life comes naturally in time, and is a welcome change. For others, the idea of moving on seems wrong, as if they are forgetting about their beloved child. Both ways of thinking are certainly understandable.

Grief is present everywhere in humanity, but the resilience to overcome grief is also everywhere in humanity. Even if moving on from the loss of a child feels wrong, you must push through your grief steps for your own good. It is not natural to dwell on death for a long amount of time. All of human productivity, optimism and forward movement depends on moving on from grief. Think of the innocent life of your child and the optimism that children naturally exude. Children can also have the remarkable gift of peace with death, which adults would do well to emulate. Think of how they would have wanted their parent happy and healthy instead of wallowing.

It is the responsibility of the individual, as well as their support system, to see that they learn to move on and gain their life back. It is easy to become stuck in a cycle of grief when someone loses a child. The pain is intense and pervasive. Many people mistake grief for a way of life instead of a phase of life that is meant to be temporary and find themselves unable to move on from it. Extended grief is not a natural state, but any form of grief can become extended grief. In fact, some parents choose to become addicted to a substance that is out of character. Therefore, it is important to check into substance abuse rehab Canada and address the issue before it becomes a problem.

The grief of losing a child is severe, but the consequences of burying that grief are even more severe. The mentally healthy way of getting through the devastation of losing a child is by being present in every moment of this grief until it has run its course. No matter how painful the emotions are or how long they take to sort through, it is better to go through them than to lock them away. Even more so than this being the mentally healthy thing to do, it is the right thing to do, and it is what the child would have wanted for their parents.

Experiencing the grief of losing a child is like cleaning a wound. The sting of the soap is painful, but it is necessary to the healing process. Wounds that are not cleaned but rather are concealed under layers become infected and dangerous to the person. This is they way of burying personal grief. When a person tries to run from the grief of losing a child rather than face the pain, it begins to poison their life. They may shut the world out and retreat into themselves, becoming a mere shadow of their former selves. They may numb themselves with addictive substances so they can no longer feel anything at all. Or, they may even attempt to take their own lives.

Parents who have lost a child must understand that whatever terrible pain they are feeling will ultimately be made worse if they try to suppress it. They must do whatever it takes to hold onto themselves and feel the emotions that it is natural for them to feel. They never have to go through this alone. They should keep their support systems very near to them and should receive counseling from a professional therapist. They should spend time with friends and family and reach out for help when they are low. Some parents who have lost a child even need to go through trauma and PTSD treatment because the experience was so violent to their psyche.

When a parent loses a child, their grief will be considerable. Losing a child is one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. It is a parent’s foremost concern to keep their child healthy and happy, and in losing them to mortality, a parent naturally feels that they have failed at the most important thing in their lives. Every moment of a person’s life when they have children is devoted to the well-being of their child, and when their child is gone, the emptiness that consumes the bereaved parent is unspeakable.

It is everyone’s desire, including the grieving parent’s, to take away the grief that losing a child causes. It is a constant heavy emotion that commands the grieving parent’s daily thoughts and behaviors. However, trying to extinguish the pain a grieving parents is going through can be very harmful. It may seem counter-intuitive to allow pain, but that is exactly what a parent grieving the death of their child needs. Their grief is a natural response to the circumstance they are going through and must be allowed to run its course.

The natural progression of grief for a parent who loses a child is shock, denial, acceptance, emotional release and healing. When the parent first learns, typically they will go into shock. The news is too traumatic for the mind to comprehend, so the mind protects the individual by shutting down. This relates closely to the next phase, denial. In denial, the parent will be making attempts to reason their way out of their child’s death. Their mind will be functioning again, but under the false pretense that they can bring their child back. As soon as the parent finally accepts that their child is gone, an incredible flood of emotion will come over the person. If they grieve correctly, emotion will be their reality for some time. But this emotional release will also lead to healing. As time passes, the emotions will become manageable and the healing will become stronger.

Every parent’s worst nightmare is outliving their child. The natural cycle of life is for children to see their parent’s through their final years and ultimately outlive them. When tragedy strikes and a child is taken from their parents by mortality, the parents are left devastated. This is something we would not wish upon our enemies, but sadly, it happens entirely too often, and will probably happen at an increased rate in the future. Medical professionals have predicted a tragic epidemic of parents outliving their children due to poor diet and health choices.

When parents outlive their children, they are naturally consumed by grief. Parents have an intrinsic sense of responsibility toward their children to care for them and watch over their well-being. It does not matter what age they are; parents always feel a care-taking responsibility toward their child. This is simply the parental calling. When a child passes away before their parent, the parent naturally feels like they have failed at their primary function in life. This results in unspeakable pain and anguish that may last many years into their life.

The pain of losing a child is capable of crushing a parent. Many grieving parents slip into crippling depression or other kinds of mental illness. Others attempt to drown their pain in addiction or substance abuse. A grieving parent will act out of character for themselves simply to run from the overwhelming pain. In order to prevent losing one’s self to the pain of a deceased child, it is important to allow the grief to run its course. Rather than trying to escape the pain, grieving parents should lean into it and walk through every stage of it. They should have a loving support system close by to turn to when they feel lost, but they should not ignore, numb or run from any stage of their grief. Only in facing it fully can it be brought to a close.

Losing a child is something that no parent should ever have to go through. Every parent wants their child to outlive themselves, as is the natural process of child rearing, but when tragedy strikes and a parent loses a child, it is arguably the most devastating thing a person can go through. When this happens, incredible care should be taken to help the grieving process unfold in a healthy way. A parent who has recently lost a child is facing a very difficult journey; one that will take them through heavy emotions, pain and confusion. These emotions must be worked through in a mentally healthy way so they do not become a permanent scar on the heart of the grieving person, altering their life forever.

First of all, a grieving parent should allow their support system in close, and keep them close by. A grieving parent’s support system wants to help, and even if miscommunications arise, love and the strength of relationships is very important to healing. Secondly, a grieving parent needs to allow themselves the time, focus and energy they need to process their emotions. Grieving is a process with documented steps, and in order to recover, none of these steps should be overlooked or skipped. And lastly, once all the steps of grieving are complete, the person needs to practice moving on and coping with an awareness that it is the right thing to do.

Sadly, many grieving parents do not work through their grief like they should. Many are not aware of how to grieve healthily, or they refuse healthy grieving in anger and devastation. It is not uncommon for a parent to turn to addiction and substance abuse due to grief. Many people choose to get through difficult times by self medicating with drugs and alcohol. This is an unhealthy choice as drugs and alcohol only temporarily mask the pain of life’s hardships, and the more they are relied on, the more problems they create for a person. Consciously working through grief is the only chance a person has of eventually making it go away. If you or someone you care about is struggling with grief and needs guidance through their emotions, seek professional mental health services right away to begin counseling and rehabilitation.