The grief of losing a child is severe, but the consequences of burying that grief are even more severe. The mentally healthy way of getting through the devastation of losing a child is by being present in every moment of this grief until it has run its course. No matter how painful the emotions are or how long they take to sort through, it is better to go through them than to lock them away. Even more so than this being the mentally healthy thing to do, it is the right thing to do, and it is what the child would have wanted for their parents.

Experiencing the grief of losing a child is like cleaning a wound. The sting of the soap is painful, but it is necessary to the healing process. Wounds that are not cleaned but rather are concealed under layers become infected and dangerous to the person. This is they way of burying personal grief. When a person tries to run from the grief of losing a child rather than face the pain, it begins to poison their life. They may shut the world out and retreat into themselves, becoming a mere shadow of their former selves. They may numb themselves with addictive substances so they can no longer feel anything at all. Or, they may even attempt to take their own lives.

Parents who have lost a child must understand that whatever terrible pain they are feeling will ultimately be made worse if they try to suppress it. They must do whatever it takes to hold onto themselves and feel the emotions that it is natural for them to feel. They never have to go through this alone. They should keep their support systems very near to them and should receive counseling from a professional therapist. They should spend time with friends and family and reach out for help when they are low. Some parents who have lost a child even need to go through trauma and PTSD treatment because the experience was so violent to their psyche.